Your Child’s action plus your reaction determines the outcome!
80% of our interaction with our children needs to be about CONNECTION. Children who feel connected have a greater desire to cooperate.
The next time your want your child to transition from what they are doing to what you want them to do, mindfully connect with them before making your request. So if your child is playing and you need him/her to get ready for bed, go over, get on their level and interact. “Oh, what a great house you built.” Let them feel you are involved in what they are doing. Then, in a calm voice say, “In 5 minutes it will be time to put the toys away.” You might even set a timer for them to make it fun.
CONNECT BEFORE YOU CORRECT!!! When your child does something that feels inappropriate, scolding them or correcting them on the spot tends to be unproductive. Remember, when a child is in a state of stress, they are not open to learning. Try connecting BEFORE correcting. Example: If your child grabs a toy from their sibling, try wrapping your arms around the child and calmly saying, “You really wanted that toy didn’t you?” Or “Sometimes it’s hard to share your toys, isn’t it?” Hold your child until he/she calms down. Rub their back, whisper, “I love you,” in their ear. Once your child has calmed down, then you can talk about what just happened.
Discipline is about learning, not punishing. Yes, the child cannot have their way, and removing them from their play needs to be done from a place of calm, they need to feel connected and loved which will allow them to be open to instruction and correction.
THE GREATEST AND MOST POWERFUL THING YOU HAVE WITH YOUR CHILD IS YOUR RELATIONSHIP. WITHOUT A RELATIONSHIP YOU HAVE NO INFLUENCE.